past life holds you back from releasing your book

It’s Accreditation season here in the land of The Sayer Method. Group 6 + 7 are completing their course and as such I thought I’d share some of the processes they (lucky them get tested on yours truly) do on me in the coming weeks. 

The illusion for me on this journey is the idea is that we get to a place that we don’t have anything to work on…sorry but as long as you’re in a 3D body, you’re gonna always have more experiences and understandings to have.. even if it doesn’t mean deep emotions to clear.

Before yesterday I had nothing in my awareness to work on though.. but that’s the fun part.. we can start to get ahead and by putting stakes in the ground, by making declarations to ourselves we get assisted on clearing what needs clearing in our vibration to align with what we want.

Tuesday after a couple of months of restructuring in the business (you may have noticed I’ve been a bit quieter than usual), it was time to re-assess and look at when to publish The Sayer Method book.

Not sure about the subtitle yet, but it’s all about, funnily enough, The Sayer Method and other principles like getting past your sabotage.

So Tuesday, I set the intention that Wednesday morning I would dedicate 2 hours each morning onwards to getting it to a standard I feel is in keeping with my intention.

The perceived challenge has been, when I read back what I’ve written, I wasn’t feeling or enjoying the voice of what i’d written. Part of it felt too rebellious against how books “should” be written and part of it I couldn’t tell was actually an age of me wanting to express. Something about it wasn’t sitting right with me…so I’d been holding back on releasing it.

SO.. with that intention..

Wednesday morning I get up and do my 7 minutes of cardio as I’ve been doing since 1st Jan and for the first time in memory, my right wrist is giving me a lot of sharp pains.

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That afternoon when it comes to the accreditation, it went something like this:

He asks me what’s coming up.

Me: “My right wrist is giving me some interesting sharp pains that I’ve not felt before”

“Do you have any idea what it’s connected to?”

Me: “Something to do with my book, but haven’t delved into it yet”

So he guides me through the process and the number 1100 come up.

I move into the cord and then into the scene and I’m a priest being nailed onto the cross and at that very moment my wrist is now throbbing as they drive a thick nail through my wrist.

“How you feeling and what’s your internal dialogue?” he asks.

Me: “We’re being crucified by the Templars. They are working for The Church and we’re being crucified for writing The Gospels as the truth version rather then the version they want us to write”

Me: “I’m feeling pretty relaxed almost resided to the fact that this is what happens when you write or be visible with the truth. We should have written it on the quiet rather than let people know who asked. Some of the other guys are weeping and historical with the pain, but I feel apathetic that this was likely to happen.”

“What decision are you making?”

Me: : “That Sacrificing yourself comes with the territory of seeking the truth. It’s safer to keep the truth behind closed doors”

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He gets me to connect with my body again and we go into another scene, this time with my mum.

I’m about 3 this time with my first piece of homework from nursery. I’m pretty excited to be writing my first story, but my mum is interrupting me every few lines.

She’s now pulling me up by my right hand, twisting my wrist in a funny painful angle. Pretty aggressively.

I hadn’t used as fancy words as she’d liked and In that moment I made the decision that if I did write again, I wouldn’t do it in front of my mum and that it wasn’t safe for others to see my writing. I realise now, the little homework I did in school, I always did at school and without anyone checking it ever.

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We fast forward the scene and this time I get shown 3 different occasions at school where teachers had asked me to write a story and then I’d been scolded for it.

My German teacher has asked me (at age 16) to write a description and a story of the day in the life with the perfect woman, with a nod and joke about how me and Sam (equally immature as me, there weren’t many guys in our class) could write anything sexual.

I described her to a finite detail, without being too derogatory..

Suffice to say, he flipped his lid and even to this day, I’ve not seen anyone lose their temper that strongly and for that long, even my abusers! I actually thought he might pass out as he leaned over me and shouted non stop in German I couldn’t understand. He reported me to the headmaster and couldn’t look me in the eye as he spoke for months.

I know now he felt i’d insulted his class and German as a language, but I was being creative mixed in with some rebellion, but it was probably the only homework I’d actually done for him and actually enjoyed.

Then there was the English teacher who had it in for me since day 1. I could go on…

In each of these scenes it was much the same, I made decisions around not wanting to write anything, confirm to the system or way of doing things and that when I wrote what I wanted to write, it got me into trouble.

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So i hope you can see, something so simple can give such a mixed feeling that confuses your clarity and stops you doing what you and your Souls wants to do.

There wasn’t a huge emotional release, or much of a “massive” energetic feeling that went with it, but guess what…?

The wrist pain went as quickly as it came, as my body perfectly offered up the memories held in my cells to release so that on a vibrational level I could allow in what I need to release this book.

You see it doesn’t always have to be a huge wave of emotions bubbling OR something going awry in your life… you can just choose what you want to happen and The Universe, your Soul will deliver by upgrading you, by releasing whatever is held in your vibration that no longer serves you…

Tomorrow I’ll do a live on a process I had today on why my body had been rejecting some of my healthy food 

 

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